Category Archives: Love talk

Like a field of grass you ground me, you hold me down with your gravity.  You give me peace; He has made me to lie in you, he has lead me to your still water. You’re not God but you’ve blessed me with your presence in my life and I thank you.

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Big Girls Don’t Cry

As I child I cried all he time; for any reason at all I cried. My heart stayed on my sleeve like a tattoo.  I can still remember my mother telling me “big girls don’t cry,” we didn’t really express those emotions in my household. Eventually I begin to see vulnerability as a weakness. For my adolescent years I wore a mask; it was hard like plastic, stolid, and very consistent.  I didn’t let myself cry for six years. Not once. Death came and went, pain stayed around for a while, and sadness found a home in my heart, sill…no tears. Now I feel like I can’t cry, not that I shouldn’t cry but I physically have a hard time shedding tears. I need a physical release for my emotions and I just don’t have it.Oddly enough, now I constantly feel as if I’m on the verge of tears and honestly it’s emotionally exhausting.

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Pull the trigger

We barely know each other but I miss the attention he gives me. And maybe I only like him because he has an attractive face and he compliments me but for now that’s enough for me. Cupid doesn’t have a bow and arrow anymore so I need him to pull the trigger.

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“He looked at me”

“He looked at me and smiled”
“He looked at me and chuckled to himself”
“He looked at me and I saw the future in his eyes”

He. Looked. At. Me. that phrase has been stuck in my head all day

And now I know why. Because he looked at me. He wasn’t my boyfriend but when he was here
he was the only person that wanted to do that. He wanted to look at me. He wanted to see me.
I haven’t had anyone really want to since.

I want someone to look at me. I want to be wanted. I want to be seen

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